‘It stopped me having sex for a year’: why Generation Z is turning its back on sex-positive feminism

The movement championed the right to enjoy sex and was supposed to free women from guilt or being shamed. But now many are questioning whether it has left them more vulnerable

Lala likes to think of herself as pretty unshockable. On her popular Instagram account @lalalaletmeexplain, she dishes out anonymous sex and dating advice on everything from orgasms to the etiquette of sending nude pictures. Nor is the 40-year-old sex educator and former social worker (Lala is a pseudonym) shy of sharing her own dating experiences as a single woman.

But even she was perturbed by a recent question, from a woman with a seven-year-old daughter who had caught her new partner watching “stepdaughter” porn involving teenage girls. Was that a red flag?

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The secret to great sex? It’s not what you think …

There’s more to good sex than complicated positions or wild lust. The authors of a groundbreaking study explain what really makes it great

Far from what films and TV shows might tell us, truly magnificent sex has very little to do with daring feats of seduction or screaming orgasms. In fact, according to the latest research, erotic intimacy is more a state of mind than a physical act.

In a recent study, Magnificent Sex, psychologist and sex therapist Dr Peggy J Kleinplatz and her colleagues at Ottawa University in Canada realised that, while whole library sections were dedicated to bad sex (and how to make it better), there was almost no literature dedicated to great sex. What did it feel like? Who was having it? And what made it so great?

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Don’t ‘celebrate’ gay people, just accept us, says teacher at centre of schools row

A year on from the protests in Birmingham, Andrew Moffat is still promoting his No Outsiders programme – with a twist

Andrew Moffat, the gay teacher targeted by Muslim anti-LGBT protesters at Parkfield community school in Birmingham, is wearing his usual rainbow lanyard and says he feels safe again. A year on from the ugly scenes outside the school gate, his hands no longer tremble, there have been no recent death threats, and he doesn’t have to call home when he arrives at work each morning.

He’s just published his second book, No Outsiders: Everyone Different, Everyone Welcome, a new version of his award-winning lessons on equality, No Outsiders.

Related: There is never a reason for bigotry at the school gates | Kenan Malik

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Don’t ‘celebrate’ gay people, just accept us, says teacher at centre of schools row

A year on from the protests in Birmingham, Andrew Moffat is still promoting his No Outsiders programme – with a twist

Andrew Moffat, the gay teacher targeted by Muslim anti-LGBT protesters at Parkfield community school in Birmingham, is wearing his usual rainbow lanyard and says he feels safe again. A year on from the ugly scenes outside the school gate, his hands no longer tremble, there have been no recent death threats, and he doesn’t have to call home when he arrives at work each morning.

He’s just published his second book, No Outsiders: Everyone Different, Everyone Welcome, a new version of his award-winning lessons on equality, No Outsiders.

Related: There is never a reason for bigotry at the school gates | Kenan Malik

Continue reading…

Don’t ‘celebrate’ gay people, just accept us, says teacher at centre of schools row

A year on from the protests in Birmingham, Andrew Moffat is still promoting his No Outsiders programme – with a twist

Andrew Moffat, the gay teacher targeted by Muslim anti-LGBT protesters at Parkfield community school in Birmingham, is wearing his usual rainbow lanyard and says he feels safe again. A year on from the ugly scenes outside the school gate, his hands no longer tremble, there have been no recent death threats, and he doesn’t have to call home when he arrives at work each morning.

He’s just published his second book, No Outsiders: Everyone Different, Everyone Welcome, a new version of his award-winning lessons on equality, No Outsiders.

Related: There is never a reason for bigotry at the school gates | Kenan Malik

Continue reading…

How does porn impact men? | Modern Masculinity

A report published in January showed that parents of teenagers were either in denial or unaware of what their children watched online. With porn being more accessible than ever, the Guardian journalist Iman Amrani asks men how and why they consume porn and whether they think it has an impact on them and their relationships. Through responses from viewers, conversations with friends, and interviews with the journalist Jon Ronson and the female porn performer Casey Calvert, the latest episode of Modern Masculinity explores how taboos around can porn make life more dangerous both for viewers and performers

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Sex education: ‘We can’t let teachers perpetuate a homophobic or transphobic narrative’

New guidance will leave many children in England ignorant about consent, forced marriage and LGBTQ+ issues, say young activists

Relationships and sex education (RSE) will be compulsory for all secondary pupils in England from September, and primary schools will also need to teach about relationships. What these courses will contain, however, is left mainly to headteachers and governors, in consultation with parents. The Department for Education has issued guidance for teachers, but does it go far enough?

No, say young sex educators, who want the lessons to go beyond the mechanics of condoms on cucumbers to take fuller account of contentious issues such as consent, LGBTQ+, sex abuse and forced marriage.

Related: Sex education in schools is from an era when the Spice Girls were equality icons | Laura McInerney

Related: Sex education: what do today’s children really need to know?

Related: Fear of LGBT-inclusive lessons harks back to 80s, says Peter Tatchell

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‘If you’re going to watch porn, know it’s not real’: meet Britain’s sex-positive influencers

In schools and on YouTube, these taboo-breaking educators are giving young people a helping hand

Despite being a sex blogger with more than 86,000 Instagram followers, Oloni isn’t getting any. “I have to be careful about who I’m sleeping with,” the 29-year-old influencer says with a laugh. “It has to be with someone really low-key. The last person I was having sex with, it went pear-shaped. So I’m avoiding that right now.” But the impact of celebrity status on her sex life doesn’t seem to bother Oloni – real name Dami Olonisakin – too much. “I don’t feel like having sex with anyone at the moment.” She cracks a wide smile. “There’s no one worthy of me sleeping with them!”

We’re sitting in the plant-filled Ilford recording studio in which Olonisakin, Shakira Scott, 31, and Shani Jamilah, 23, record their no-holds-barred sex and relationships podcast, Laid Bare. They eat sweets and catch up about their week – Olonisakin has been unwell, after partying too hard – as they prepare to record. “I definitely want to do the TI thing,” Olonisakin says. (In the week that I visit, US rapper TI made international headlines after revealing that he takes his 18-year-old daughter to doctors for hymen checks, to ensure she is a virgin.) Scott squeals in agreement. She has views on TI.

Sex-positivity prioritises consent and advocates against slut-shaming and sexist double standards

We are the last resort for young people, when their parents and teachers don’t fill the gaps

At a year 10 assembly, we cover healthy relationships, coercive control and how to break up respectfully

Continue reading…

‘If you’re going to watch porn, know it’s not real’: meet Britain’s sex-positive influencers

In schools and on YouTube, these taboo-breaking educators are giving young people a helping hand

Despite being a sex blogger with more than 86,000 Instagram followers, Oloni isn’t getting any. “I have to be careful about who I’m sleeping with,” the 29-year-old influencer says with a laugh. “It has to be with someone really low-key. The last person I was having sex with, it went pear-shaped. So I’m avoiding that right now.” But the impact of celebrity status on her sex life doesn’t seem to bother Oloni – real name Dami Olonisakin – too much. “I don’t feel like having sex with anyone at the moment.” She cracks a wide smile. “There’s no one worthy of me sleeping with them!”

We’re sitting in the plant-filled Ilford recording studio in which Olonisakin, Shakira Scott, 31, and Shani Jamilah, 23, record their no-holds-barred sex and relationships podcast, Laid Bare. They eat sweets and catch up about their week – Olonisakin has been unwell, after partying too hard – as they prepare to record. “I definitely want to do the TI thing,” Olonisakin says. (In the week that I visit, US rapper TI made international headlines after revealing that he takes his 18-year-old daughter to doctors for hymen checks, to ensure she is a virgin.) Scott squeals in agreement. She has views on TI.

Sex-positivity prioritises consent and advocates against slut-shaming and sexist double standards

We are the last resort for young people, when their parents and teachers don’t fill the gaps

At a year 10 assembly, we cover healthy relationships, coercive control and how to break up respectfully

Continue reading…

‘If you’re going to watch porn, know it’s not real’: meet Britain’s sex-positive influencers

In schools and on YouTube, these taboo-breaking educators are giving young people a helping hand

Despite being a sex blogger with more than 86,000 Instagram followers, Oloni isn’t getting any. “I have to be careful about who I’m sleeping with,” the 29-year-old influencer says with a laugh. “It has to be with someone really low-key. The last person I was having sex with, it went pear-shaped. So I’m avoiding that right now.” But the impact of celebrity status on her sex life doesn’t seem to bother Oloni – real name Dami Olonisakin – too much. “I don’t feel like having sex with anyone at the moment.” She cracks a wide smile. “There’s no one worthy of me sleeping with them!”

We’re sitting in the plant-filled Ilford recording studio in which Olonisakin, Shakira Scott, 31, and Shani Jamilah, 23, record their no-holds-barred sex and relationships podcast, Laid Bare. They eat sweets and catch up about their week – Olonisakin has been unwell, after partying too hard – as they prepare to record. “I definitely want to do the TI thing,” Olonisakin says. (In the week that I visit, US rapper TI made international headlines after revealing that he takes his 18-year-old daughter to doctors for hymen checks, to ensure she is a virgin.) Scott squeals in agreement. She has views on TI.

Sex-positivity prioritises consent and advocates against slut-shaming and sexist double standards

We are the last resort for young people, when their parents and teachers don’t fill the gaps

At a year 10 assembly, we cover healthy relationships, coercive control and how to break up respectfully

Continue reading…

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